Busting out of my Comfort Zone.

I’ve set myself some challenges to step out of my comfort zone.  It’s easy to get complacent about what we can and can’t do and I want to make sure I am learning and growing.

The challenges I am setting myself are

• Toastmasters
• Burlesque Dancing
• Singing
• Hot Yoga

Yesterday I attended my first ToastMasters meeting, which is something I have wanted to do for some years.  I had plans to sit quietly as a guest and observe the meeting.  No such luck.  I was asked to present a Table topic.  This means that you are given a topic and have from when you stand up, till when you get to the front of the room to prepare a 1 – 2 minute speech.  So about 10 seconds then!  No pressure!

I wasn’t expecting to be asked because I’d been told they don’t normally call on guests to speak at the first meeting, and I didn’t have many strategies up my sleeve.  However I had observed that the people who did the exercise before me stated the question again as a way of giving their brain thinking time.  I got to the front, restated the question and started speaking.  I have no idea what I said about whether Lottie the Otter was a good addition to the Winnie the Pooh stories (!) especially as I knew nothing on the topic!  But somehow some words came out.    I had a big panic in the middle, two big ums and I realised I was looking at my shoes rather than the audience.

I took a deep breath, looked up, and then suddenly realised it didn’t have to be my deeply considered opinion.   It just had to be an opinion with a couple of reasons why.  I was able to find an opinion and share it, came to a conclusion and gratefully sat down again, my face flushed and my heart pounding!

But bless the team.  I got some lovely positive feedback and supportive comments. When the votes were counted I came second out of six in the vote for best table topic.  The winner was the club president and he gave me the winning ribbon to take home which I thought was lovely.  Now I know that my speech wasn’t even the second best in the group.  But I very much appreciated being recognised for stepping out of my comfort zone and taking the plunge.  Receiving the ribbon was a huge boost to my self-confidence.

Yes it felt horrible and scary at the time.  But afterwards I felt a huge rush of elation, because I had pushed myself forward. I’m definitely going back, because I can see a huge potential to grow and develop myself and my speaking skills as part of the group.

I think my next challenge or attending a burlesque dancing class is going to be the most challenging for me, even more scary that attending Toastmasters.   The idea of strutting around in a sexy manner really unnerves me!  It is a very playful, intimate way of expressing yourself and means connecting with that sexy side of myself which has been long buried.  I ‘m not sure if I will enjoy the experience or not and I’m worried I will look or feel silly rather than flirtatious.   However the only way to find out if I will enjoy it, is to try it.  If I can’t stand it, I won’t go back.

I read on Steve Pavlina’s blog about him setting people challenges as part of his workshop to approach strangers to help them get over ‘approach anxiety‘.  I don’t suffer from that and have the self-confidence to easily walk up to a stranger and ask them anything.   Sometimes I don’t appreciate how difficult that can be for someone because I learned how to do that a long time ago.  I want to put myself back into that beginners’ mindset.  To an experienced dancer doing dancing with a fan or taking some gloves of slowly would seem easy, but to me, right now, it is nerve-wrackingly difficult.

My other plan is to sing publicly.  I used to sing as a child, but since then haven’t sung solo since then.  I’m meeting some friends in London next week and we are going to a karaoke bar.  So apologies in advance to any of the other patrons of the bar, but I will be knocking out a solo version of Heart of Glass, that may indeed shatter some of the glass in there.

The bikram yoga class will be challenging in terms of physical discomfort.  It will be hot and probably painful!  I’m doing it because I want a bendy yoga body.  Again it will be completely new to me, so I’m going with an open mind about whether or not I will keep going.

What’s really interesting to me is that three of the actives I am using to bust of of my comfort zone are performance related.  What’s important to me is not just learning how to perform technically, but how to connect with an audience.  For me public speaking, dancing and singing show me at my most authentic self and it can feel scary.  When I see many pairs of eyes looking at me, I feel vulnerable and nervous so I want to learn how to transmute that energy to build really deep rapport with my audience.

We all come to this planet with a specialism in a particular energy centre and we bring that energy with us to express in this lifetime.  My energy centre specialism is the throat chakra, the chakra of communication.  However until the beginning of this year it was blocked and at an energetic level I struggled to express myself.  Now that blockage has been released due to receiving a Soul Realignment Reading and I can see the improvement in myself.  

• I’m writing my opinions and sharing them via this blog, which I couldn’t do before.
• I’ve started doing Soul Realignment readings for people.
• I’m giving talks to groups and have spoken at a Toastmasters meeting.
• I want to express myself not just with writing and speaking, but also with dance and song.

However, I’m still a beginner at these things.  I still need to learn the tools of my trade. Just because the energetic block is now removed, doesn’t mean I am an expert in communication.  I still need to develop and hone my craft and find how I want to express my own voice.

When it comes to busting out of your comfort zone I think a two pronged approach is good.  Taking action is the first thing to do.  If you can’t take the action then it is a good idea to find out if there are any energetic blocks in the way that are hampering all your efforts.  If that’s the case, get the blocks cleared. But don’t think that clearing the blocks energetically is the final answer.  The most important thing is to keep breathing, look up and take that first step.  The action you take will transform you further.

When busting out of your comfort zone, you will most likely feel nervous beforehand.  You will most likely fluff up and do something wrong or daft.  That’s ok. That’s what being a beginner is all about.  Even people who are normally very self-confident feel nervous in new situations.  That’s normal.  You can decide afterwards whether or not you enjoyed it and would want to do it again.  Don’t allow feeling nervous before a new activity put you off from experiencing it.  Allow yourself to be nervous and experience the new thing.   Even if your heart doesn’t stop pounding for a good few minutes after it is over you will be pleased that you tried something new.

What little action could you take today to bust out of your comfort zone?