Linear Progress Chart
Realistic Progress Chart
If you were to plot progress towards self-confidence on a graph how would you imagine it?
Do you imagine that it is a straight diagonal line upwards? Or do you have a more realistic view of dips and plateaus during the process?
As you build your self-confidence your progress is going to be anything but linear. There’s going to be good days and bad days. Some days you will feel invincible, other days you will feel that nothing you do makes any difference.
During the down times it can it can be really hard to stay determined and focused during those times. It’s easy to lose that contact with our inner voice that says this is worth doing.
However, if you look at the non-linear chart, it does in fact go up eventually. In fact just after a dip or plateau in performance, you’ll see a sudden improvement. So when you find yourself stuck in a dip or plateau if you continue, it means you are about to make a big improvement very soon. Unfortunately what many of us do is think we are going backwards and give up! If you can find it within yourself to love the dip, and love the plateau – you will find the determination to succeed.
I’m applying this learning to improving my fitness right now. I’ve started running again and at first saw an improvement in my speed every run. Then after a few weeks I started struggling. My times got worse, I found it harder, my feet felt heavy and my legs didn’t seem strong enough to carry me. I started to feel my self-confidence in my abilities go down.
I had to remind myself to love that dip in performance and stay true to my vision of getting fit. And then hey, suddenly I went for a run and it felt easy! My breathing was good, my legs felt strong – heck I even was enjoying it!
It helps that I am getting some fantastic support from a friend, but the determination to succeed comes from within me. It’s what gets me up and in my running kit on a windy raining morning even when I don’t really feel like it. That determination is what gets me to push my hardest that last quarter mile to get the most out of the run.
Be determined, not disciplined.
In fact, you can be determined and apply that determination even when you are not in the mood! I hate the word discipline and am probably one of the least disciplined people you could ever meet! But I am determined.
The difference to me is that being disciplined means sticking to plan that you’ve previously decided on, whereas to me being determined is connecting to that ‘big why’ that explains why you’re doing something. I don’t go running because my schedule tells me it’s running day. I hate doing things for the sake of it. I go because I am determined to get fit and have a healthy body. By connecting with my inner truth, I can get out there.
Likewise with self-confidence. What is your big why for wanting to increase your self-confidence? Is it to create better friendships, go for that job interview you’ve always wanted or to cope better with family relationships?
Be determined that you will get there. Even if you have a set back: not standing up for yourself at work, being on the stinging end of a criticism from a family member, or people laughing at your goals and dreams. Whatever the dip – don’t worry. Love the dip, love the plateau and if you keep at it – you will get the all self-confidence you want…. And then some.