How do you want your self-confidence? What’s your particular flavour like?
Do you compare yourself to other self-confident people and wish you were more like them?
It’s so easy to do.
I stumbled across the site today of a sassy, passionate, kick-ass Canadian writer. I fell in love with her writing instantly, then that thought flickered through my head, ‘You should write more like her.’
Really?
Notice that should in there. I just shoulded all over the place and it isn’t pretty. It feels bad. It makes me feel small, less than and presses that big old red button ‘not good enough’. Ouch.
So lets look at what I responded to. I love the passion, I love the vivacity, I love the energy. Yes, that feels good to me. That is something I can definitely work with and what I respond to. I can express that in my own way with my own writing.
But I’m less kick-ass, and heck I’m British! To pretend to be, just wouldn’t work. It wouldn’t be authentic. It wouldn’t be me.
It reminds me of years ago when my boss asked me how I thought I would do in my up-coming marketing exam and I smiled and replied I was ‘Quietly confident’. He laughed and said, ‘Don’t be quietly confident. Be loudly confident,’ and I replied, ‘That’s not my style.’
You don’t have to be the centre of attention to be confident. You don’t have to make a dramatic entrance at every party. You don’t have to wear bright clothes, be loud or tell the best jokes. You don’t have to tell everyone your business or your opinions. If you want to be quietly confident you can, if that is your style.
There’s no point trying to write, or be confident in the same way as someone else. Finding your own style, your own inner strength is different for everyone. It’s about setting your exceptions about what you want, and then creating those circumstances.
We can never be confident in exactly the same way as someone else. The truest confidence comes from within us and is a natural expression of our inner strength.
What’s your self-confidence style?
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
“But I’m less kick-ass, and heck I’m British!” Haha!
I loved this sentence (which is not very British, if you ask me. 
).
I really like this post of yours. You are so right! Being self-confident is about finding what’s truly our very own personal self. It’s not about imitating someone else.
I don’t know what my style is, actually. I don’t tell jokes, I’m not loud, I don’t tell everybody about what’s going on in my head all the time. I’m not quietly confident in the British way you are either.
I’ll think about it. Thanks for bringing this to my awareness!
Much love to you,
Rose.
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